Monday, January 9, 2012

All great thoughts happen in the shower.

That's right. Ever heard of Albert Einstein? He was a genius- but only in the shower!! All his brains came from the shower. Socrates? Plato? Aristotle? Shower. Shower. Shower. Trust me. I wrote my entire Persuasive speech draft last year in the shower.

But our shower has a slight problem. You see, there are 9 of us who live in the house, 4 of which use the "girls' shower". But I believe our shower has a curse. Every time a shampoo or conditioner bottle gets to the point where there's only about an inch of stuff left in it, it becomes invisible to the naked eye. And so what does the average person do? Grab another one! And when you've got 4 people using the same shampoo, and conditioner, all of whom have longer hair, we go through it FAST. Which means "empty" bottles that really still have an inch or so left end up accumulating, and because they're all invisible, nobody notices.

That is, until your shower ends up being so covered in "empty" shampoo and conditioner bottles, there's only about 2 inches of room left for you to stand in. That's usually when people start noticing.

That happened a few days ago for us. We realized that we were really showering in "empty" bottles, so we made a ban on opening new ones until we use them all up. Due to having to use multiple flavors to get rid of the bottles, we have just created a shampoo/conditioner version of Stride's mystery gum(you're welcome, Stride). Every time we walk out the shower, we've got 3 different flavors in our hair. I believe I have strawberries 'n' cream, tea therapy, free me freesia, and pantene in my hair right now. It's quite an interesting smell.

But so far, we've gotten pretty far...I believe we've gone from somewhere around 25 bottles to 13. But there is one bottle in particular that scares me: The Coconut conditioner. You see, once upon a time, I was all for coconut. Coconut conditioner, coconut lifesavers, almond joys, coconut oil, you name it. I loved it. But then there was this one incident. To make sense, I'll have to go back a few years:

For around 5 consecutive years, every year on Christmas, our entire family came down with the stomache flu. We have our own various theories of why this happened, such as a way to get out of family reunions, but regardless, it happened. We have pictures of us opening our presents, buckets and all. Anyways, one particular Christmas, my brother had gotten me a box of chocolates.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I was miserable, so I did.

You guessed it.

I ate one.

Chocolate Hazelnut chocolate drop, to be precise.

And then I lay down, and took a nap. When I awoke, I felt it coming. But it was too late to do anything. I vomitted all over myself, my clothes, the floor, hair.

Now to explain where all the coconut-hate comes in: Seeing how I was covered in my own yuckiness, I went upstairs to take a shower. The conditioner I used was coconut. Now I can't stand the smell of coconut. Whenever I see coconuts, I see evil red eyes and fangs on 'em. They're out to get me. I know it.

(Another interesting thing is that I can stand coconut but only if it's covered in chocolate. I guess Chocolate really does cover a multitude of sins. ;) )

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